My first meditation retreat with Sayalay Dipankara

Funny how some things, no matter how improbable, manage to happen anyway....

A few months back, there was a meditation retreat conducted by Sayalay Dipankara in Ipoh (where my sister-in-law was the sole attendee from my family). It was quite hard to envision being able to pull oneself away from work for almost 2 weeks. And to spend all that time in meditation (something that I was vaguely familiar of, but never been practiced at this magnitude). Like going from a Sony Playstation console to the tracks of the Indy 500 overnight!

Anyway, as fate would have it, 2009 was the year of the economic crisis (or "cleansing", thinking along more positive lines). My company had pre-planned a series of shutdowns, infamously known as "short work weeks", throughout strategically time periods in the year. Well, at that point in time, the last two weeks of 2009 was gazetted as a plant-wide shut down. Well, I thought to myself, that meant that I had only to take an additional 3 days to join Sayalay's next retreat in Penang. So, work was no longer an obstacle (heh, heh - though sometime later, business seemed to pick up, so we shut down for only 1 week instead of 2. Too late to abort, though...!).

Honestly, my primary reason to come along initially was to spare my wife the stressful drive all the way up to Penang, a journey that took us 500km from our home. Secondary was my interest to experience first hand what meditation was all about. Prior to this, I had participated briefly in some on-the-spot meditation sessions conducted at local Buddhist establishments by visiting Sayadaws and monks. Apart from that, I did a bit of reading, but as there is a vast difference between reading about the taste of eating an apple versus actually eating one, I decided that there was just no better way to go than to experience it first-hand. The best thing is that Sayalay Dipankara was quite fluent in English - usually I stay clear of Buddhist activities in this country as they are usually held solely in Chinese (a language that I understand as much as I do German). Anyway, for those who require, there was a translation done into Chinese done after every few sentences from Sayalay.

It was a fairly large group of us that went for this meditation retreat. Me and my wife, mother-in-law, sister-in-law + husband, sister-in-law only, brother-in-law and husband of sister-in-law. All from my wife's side (you could say that the "Force" is strong on that side of the family).

The retreat was organized by the Vivekavana Buddhist Society (http://www.vivekavana.com), and held at the (co-sponsor) Butterworth Buddhist Association (http://www.bba.com.my) (many thanks to them for providing us with a good location where we spent our next 10 days). The event was from 16th Dec to 25 Dec 2009.

On the first day, we were briefed on the do's and don'ts of the retreat. First and foremost, we were required to adhere to the 8 Precepts during the entire course of the retreat. Not to be confused with the Noble 8 Fold Path. Well, you can find more details here : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Precepts

Another rule was to observe "Noble Silence" - that is, don't communicate with others unnecessary (except with the teacher, Sayalay). This encompassed all forms of communication, ie, SMS and e-mail for those who live in this tech-savvy age. So, during this time, as my out-of-office message said, I had no access to my phone or e-mail. Not to mention how distracting that would be, and counter-productive for the intended results of the retreat.

Well, to avoid more distractions, I left me camera back home. So, sorry, no photos for this blog entry...!

Sayalay was a great teacher. Throughout the 10 days, she guided us through interview sessions and Dhamma talks through the Anapanasati meditation techniques, which was to improve deep concentration. This was one of the core / fundamental meditation techniques to serve as a backbone / framework. There was apparently a few levels of meditation to achieve in this technique alone. As the retreat progressed, we found out later that there were in all 40 meditation techniques thought by the Buddha (40? I thought at first Sayalay said 14!).

We slept in separate male and female dorms. A typical day starts at 4.30am, where a member of the organizing committee goes around at roughly 4.15am to awaken the yogis (participants of the meditation retreat) with an unfamiliar instrument. I believe initially that it was a wooden block that made a "tok-tok" sound. Someday later, it changed into a metal chime "ting-ting", which was again unfamiliar. This was actually quite effective as an alarm, and by day 2, my internal clock managed to recalibrate so I didn't make use of my alarm clock.

Waking up, the first thing is to proceed to the meditation hall for a morning sitting. Right up to 6.30am, where we took breakfast. After that it was cleaning time (we were assigned duties. My task was to mop the meditation hall every alternate day. Was OK, considering I just moved into my new house, only minor hassle was that there were 14 of us, and only 7 mops. Also, due to "Noble Silence", sometimes the same patch of floor was mopped 3 times before someone highlighted it). By 7.30am / 8.00am, it was back in the meditation hall to meditate until 11.00am. Lunch time. Precept #6 is to abstain from solid food after noon. Yes, that meant that after 12.00pm, the next meal would be at 6.30am the following day! The definition of solid food was a little vague (considering what they had to eat back then in the time of the Buddha), but it was stated on the notice board that this excluded Milo, Coffee, etc.. Somehow, honey was allowed, but since I didn't share the same dietary preferences as Winnie the Pooh, I just made my way through the day with plain drinking water.

Food was served buffet-style. After taking our food and sitting down (again, at respective designated male and female tables), we silently contemplated on the food before us before starting to eat. We all washed our own eating utensils before leaving the dining hall.

After lunch, we had our bi-daily chores to perform, and from 12.00pm to 1.30pm it was the first rest time. At 1.30pm, "ting-ting" and it was off to the meditation hall for more meditation until the second break time at 6.00pm. At 7.30pm, almost every other night, Sayalay would give a "short" dhamma talk (which sometimes lasted right until 9.00pm). Otherwise it would be a final night meditation session. We turned in early at night, as the next morning the entire cycle would repeat itself (remember, wake up at 4.30am!).

In spite of excellent facilities, it was quite a challenge finding peace of mind and isolation in the meditation hall. Firstly, we were located somewhat close to an air force base, so quite frequently, there were jets flying low and overhead (from my days of playing video games , they looked like F4 or F5's to me). Also, the houses beside us were being renovated. The owners were probably in a hurry to move in, perhaps before the new year, as renovation work sometimes began as early as 3.00am!

While meditating, we alternated between sitting cross-legged and walking meditation. Even with the mats and cushions provided, sitting upright for hours gave me a lot of pain in my knees, thighs and lower back. Walking meditation was to alleviate this, but as there were roughly 80 of us in the meditation hall, I did not exactly follow the scheduled times for sitting / walking, as when everyone stood up to walk, we were too busy avoiding each other to focus on the breath, which was the object of meditation for these 10 days.

First day went by painfully and slowly (at least for a novice like me). As the days passed, I found it was getting more tolerable (doesn't get easier, but you cope with it better). On some days, the mind seemed focused and still. On others, it was an epic struggle to reign in wandering thoughts. Keeping the mind focused on a single object is much harder than it sounds. Especially that you need to keep it there for as long as possible.

It was a strange experience. Though there were so many of us around, there was practically no interaction as we observed "Noble Silence". Interaction with each other would only encourage wandering thoughts, and make it stray from the true objective. We only had direct interaction with Sayalay Dipankara in two scheduled interview sessions. Though there was a free interview session, practically all of my questions were answered either during the scheduled interviews, or during the dhamma talks.

On the second last day of the retreat, some of us were already thinking of going home, and started to interact for the first time. It was during this time that some of us exchanged e-mails and contact info, to keep in touch from then after. On the last day, we helped clean up the place for the last time before saying our farewells and heading home. After being away for so long, we did not stay on a little longer in Penang. Perhaps next time, as I wanted to visit Kek Lok Si temple where the pavilion that now shelters the large statue of the Goddess of Mercy (Kuan Yin) had just been completed. Traffic was quite smooth flowing all the way South, though the same cannot be said for the other side of the road.

Sayalay will be taking a short (6 month) break, but she would be back in Malaysia in October 2010 (Ipoh). Meanwhile, for those with a higher level of determination can sign up to attend a 2 month session coming up in Feb / March 2010 in Myanmar. My brother-in-law (yet another one of my wife's brothers) will be going for this, so we all wish him much progress in his meditation, and look forward to hear of his experience upon his return. More information on Sayalay Dipankara and the Cakkavala Meditation Center can be found here : http://www.cakkavala.org/index.htm

Well, I'm certainly glad that I took up the opportunity to attend this 10 day meditation retreat. It has provided me with profound new insight, and contemplation on many matters that I have not given such degree of thought before. Not sure if there is any truth to the Zen adage - "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear"....